You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
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It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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