I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
