Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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