i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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