Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize