Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
