Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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