I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
