I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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