Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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