I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize