doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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