Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
