oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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