batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
