matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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