I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
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My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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