its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize