You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
two words: eviction party
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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