can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
