This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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