I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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