I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
