Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
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If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
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I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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