hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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