On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
