My sheets look like a crime scene.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
