I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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