I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
