can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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