He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
