I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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