Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
