i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
