Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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