i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
