Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
