i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
