Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
