I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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