She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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