I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We need to get me chipped asap
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
