There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
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