who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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