I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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