Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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