franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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