You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
