I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
