waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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