if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
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Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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