cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize