Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
