He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
