i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
