i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
that's an acceptable place to lick
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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