69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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