She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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