She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
