you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
