We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
