I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
